By Zoey Buckner
Being in the College Credit Plus (CCP) program is both what I was expecting and so much different than I could have ever imagined. In the beginning stages of paperwork, I will admit that I was nervous. The thought of being surrounded by people from an academic standpoint scared me. I have been homeschooled nearly my entire life, and I had so many recurring thoughts of whether I would fit in, and there were times I wondered if I was even good enough to be at Defiance College.
There is an old saying, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” I decided that I would act like I belonged until I began to feel as though I actually did, and surprisingly, it worked!
It is often said that syllabus week is the easiest week of college, and for many, that might be true. For someone like me, though, who is not yet out of high school, that first week was the most chaotic one of my life. I did not know anyone, I had no idea what to expect, and I kept worrying that I would get lost–which I did, because on my first day, I ended up in the wrong room and the wrong building.
By the time I got to my first class, I was ready to go home. I felt so out of place and so unprepared, and I began to wonder if maybe college was not for me. I sat in the very back corner of class that day. If there is one thing that I dread, it is attendance. When the professor asked my name, I barely spoke loud enough, and my voice cracked, just like a kid in middle school. I felt like the most awkward person in that class, but my professor just smiled and marked me as present.
That moment made me think maybe I was not as awkward as I believed. Maybe, just maybe, I could do this. That moment changed things for me. Even as I sat at the back observing, and barely speaking unless I had to, I felt good. I felt like I belonged right there in that classroom. Ever since then, I have started sitting in the front row. It has become my favorite class, not because of the material, or even because of my classmates, but because of a Professor who is always excited to be there, one who greets us with an insane amount of enthusiasm, even for a nine-a.m. class.